I like to think of myself as being relatively normal. And I like to think that on the whole, I come across that way. I love coffee, so does most of America. I love chick-flicks, so do most American girls. I hate ketchup, so does French’s Mustard. And I hate the movie Hot Rod. But that one is self-explanatory.

But I guess occasionally, I do slip into the Nerdy Writer role and yesterday was just one of those days. Jon came home, heard me giggling over the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest and quite emphatically announced that I was a nerd.

“Nuh-uh!” This was my brilliant comeback.

For those of you who haven’t heard of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, you need to know. This is the most hilarious writing competition in the world! The whole contest is based on Edward George Bulwer-Lytton’s famously plagiarized first sentence in his 1830 novel Paul Clifford:

“It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents–except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.”

Horrific, right? 🙂

So, in honor of this sentence, there is a Worst First Sentence Contest that has been held every year for the past 26 years. People enter from all over the world and they take submissions up until April 15. So, if you’ve got a ridiculously awful first sentence that you feel deserves this dishonor, please submit it!

I pulled a few of my favorites from last year’s winners:

“Lightning flashed from the blue-black sky of this alien world and shattered the engines of the spaceship, destroying Reninger’s last chance of escaping and reminding him of the time his sister returned from New York with the tips of her hair dyed blue, except for the part about the lightning and the spaceship.” – Mark Murata, Kirkland, WA

“Special agent Mark Park’s strong chin and firm mouth showed that he was a man to be reckoned with, while his twinkling blue eyes revealed surprising depths of kindness and humor, the scar on his cheek a past filled with violence and danger, and his left ear a fondness for M and Ms, but only the red ones.” – John R. Cooper, Portland, OR

“The penguin stood on the iceberg, cutting a striking black-on-white profile, much like the silhouette produced by a person standing behind a screen in front of a bright light while holding up a Twinkie to represent the penguin and placing it atop a Yorkshire terrier to represent the iceberg.” – Sarah Totton, Owen Sound, Ontario

You can find tons more of these here.

So, for all you fellow nerds out there, I hope you enjoy them! Some are funnier than others and I think I appreciated more of the Dishonorable Mentions than the winners.

P.S. I thought you all would appreciate a few pictures from the past few weeks – we took Kody to the other side of the mountain to play in some snow and there’s pics from a recent trip to Vegas with my parents – I MET ELVIS!!!

My handsome boys

Kody posing

Thus the reason for the lead. This one’s a runner!

Our nice waterfall picture

And our not nice one

ELVIS!!!

Notice the running water fountain that makes the canopy

Mom and Jon playing with the fountain

No need to go to France now. Aren’t we like the most attractive couple?! 😛

He stands so still…it’s amazing!

Family pic with the King of Rock and Roll

It’s Red!

In front of the famous Bellagio, waiting for the fountain show

I love my husband. 🙂